It Ends Tonight

Your subtleties
They strangle me
I can't explain myself at all.
And all the wants
And all the needs
All I don't want to need at all.

The walls start breathing
My mind's unweaving
Maybe it's best you leave me alone.
A weight is lifted
On this evening
I give the final blow.

When darkness turns to light,
It ends tonight
It ends tonight.

A falling star
Least I fall alone.
I can't explain what you can't explain.
You're finding things that you didn't know
I look at you with such disdain

The walls start breathing
My mind's unweaving
Maybe it's best you leave me alone.
A weight is lifted
On this evening
I give the final blow.

When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
Just a little insight won't make this right
It's too late to fight
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.

Now I'm on my own side
It's better than being on your side
It's my fault when you're blind
It's better that I see it through your eyes

All these thoughts locked inside
Now you're the first to know

When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
Just a little insight won't make this right
It's too late to fight
It ends tonight,
It ends

When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
Just a little insight won't make this right
It's too late to fight
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.

Tonight
Insight
When darkness turns to light,
It ends tonight.

Note to Self

Luke 6:41-42

Stray Off Track...

The sign on the floor said
"Stay on Track"
But nobody told me honours
will be this whack



I tried to balance,
to keep my eyes forward
tried to walk straight
and just accept my fate





Somehow in the middle
I started to dwiddle
Went from reading to you-tubing
Instead of perserving
I end up straying



And so I stumble
with all my work in a jumble
Nevermind that the people around me
Seem to have it so easy





It's driving me Mad
All these load of Crap
Everything going down with a big fat
Splat!





Clarissa is not having the best of times...
need to find the strength to fight the battles within and without...

Watch Out !!

Deadlines in the mirror are Closer than they appear to be.

Inane and Useless facts about Clarissa that you may or may not have known

1. I believe that the friends you have are a reflection of your own self. True friends reveal yourself to you like a mirror does. (Or according to HJJ, true friends are the ones who are able to call you names like "bastard!" or "miser!" without you feeling insulted)
   
   
2. I have a soft spot for the British accent. Hearing the ups and downs of tone, the minding of 'P's & 'Q's, the extra emphasis on consonants...all just makes my ears tingle and more eager to listen. The fact that half of my lecturers come from the UK makes a neat coincidence to half my reasons for majoring in Geography. (I can't imagine listening to the endless drones of the flat American drawl from the Sociology Dept or the incomprehensible is-that-even-English-they-are-speaking(?!) Economics/Computing lectures conducted by those from our largest Asian neighbours, India and China!)
   
   
   
3. I don't like chocolate! I find that I get overdosed if I eat more than a few bites of that dark gooey thing. Friends who have been to my house can attest to that as they would have seen the amounts of truffles and boxes of abandoned chocolate pieces hidden in the corners of my fridge. The last thing you'll see me eating is anything remotely like a chocolate cake, brownies or worse, triple-choc-fudge-with-extra-choc-chips ice cream! Urrghh...
   
   
4. I can't go for more than 24 hours without sleep. Therefore, it means that I have never managed to "tong" the whole night at camps or stayovers. I usually only manage to stay until 3-4am before my eyes give way to gravity.
   
   
5. I am more likely to buy something that I don't need from a hardware/$1.99 store than a clothing/accessories shop. I somehow get more tempted to buy table lamps, metal hooks and bottle jars than I do for necklaces, handbags and tops.
   
   
6. More on the topic of shops, my favourite places to shop are supermarkets and bookstores! I can spend hours looking through different cans of food and comparing prices, or while a whole afternoon away just browsing through rows of books without buying them. (Guess you can officially call me a weirdo-housewife-in-making-bookworm now)
   
   
7. I have an inclination to go irritate people whom I dislike on purpose. I know this is bad, but somehow I take a perverse joy in bursting the self-absorbed ego-bubble of others then running away gleefully. Hahaha!
   
   

Dog-Tired......

School has started for not more than 3 weeks,
all i can say is that it is draining every last bit of energy in me!
Feeling dog-tired, I'm officially a vegetable brain every Monday evening at 5pm while the rest of the time I resume my usual role of roaming-campus-corpse ...
And this is just the tip of the iceberg, the given readings are just the beginning of this huge abyss of knowledge we are suppose to comprehend called "Geographical Thought". (Well, i just thought it sucks!)

Anyway, the real sinking of the Titantic (a.k.a my mental health) will most likely be occurring in the month of October when there's practically a deadline every few days. So be warned if I seem maniacal during that period! (Ps: I'll probably be a permanent 'Miss Hyde' then and only transform back to Jekyll after November)


On a more lighter and heartburning note, for those of you who always wonder what I have been up to in my life, (since I don't take to rambling endlessly about what I do everyday or how many people have annoyed me in the past 24hrs) Well, the month of August has been a month of birthday feasting and gorging on delicious grub for me. Thanks to all those who have graciously accompanied me on my way to discovering delicious food and also a straight ticket to Obesity-land. Haha!

For those who have missed out on riding the lipid train with me, here's a look on what you have saved yourselves from.....



Steak Sandwiches from Tuckshop.



Curry Udon and Hamburger Steak at Ma Maison.


Spicy Crab Linguine at Wild Rocket.



Feeling hungry yet?

Heart. Broken?

If your heart is broken, sweep up the pieces.
There will always be someone who will want to put it back together.










Now............
The question is,

Will you let them?

For the friend who is hurting...

And the song is for you too...

Get this widget Share Track details

Joseph Arthur- In the Sun

I picture you in the sun wondering, what went wrong

And falling down on your knees asking for sympathy

And being caught in between all you wish for and all you seen

And trying to find anything you can feel that you can believe in

May God's love be with you. Always.

May God's love be with you

I know I would apologize if I could see your eyes

cause when you showed me myself, I became someone else

But I was caught in between all you wish for and all you need

I picture you fast asleep

A nightmare comes

You can't keep awake

May God's love be with you. Always.

May God's love be with you

cause if I find, If I find my own way

How much will I find?

If I find, If I find my own way

How much will I find You?

I dont know anymore

What its for, Im not even sure

If there is anyone who is in the sun

Will you help me to understand

cause I been caught in between all I wish for and all I need

Maybe you're not even sure what its for

Any more than me

May God's love be with you. Always

May God's love be with you

You will find your Way, don't worry. I believe in you.

Empty Inside... Scroll down for the key...

Those people around me would know that i have recently discovered this really cool book called Kokology: the game of self- discovery. They ask you a series of seemingly innocent topics then reveal what the answers say about you. I have tested it on quite a few people to quite hilarious, but usually spot-on results. Haha. And so I decided to put in one of the questions and see what you choose. (Don't worry, it wouldn't be anything too personal like who your secret crush is!)
Ready? Here goes...

Empty Inside

Some days everything just seems to go your way. Traffic seems to clear a path for you on the way to work; your boss takes the day off; you win the office pool. And you're all the happier because each new bit of luck comes as a pleasant surprise. Of course, there's another side to the unexpected as well. All it takes is a run in your stocking or a stain on your favourite shirt to bring you right back to reality. Good or bad, it's the little surprises that keep life interesting.

You go to the local bakery and buy a jelly doughnut. (you know, the kind without the hole but with jam stuffing inside) However, when you get home and take a bite, you discover it's missing one essential ingredient--the jelly inside! How do you react to this bit of bad luck?


1. Take the defective doughnut back to the shop and get a new one.

2. Say to yourself, "These things happen," and eat the empty doughnut as it is.

3. Eat something else.

4. Try filling the empty doughnut with something like maple syrup or jam to make it taste better.




Sooooooo...what have you chosen? Do drop me your answer in the comments page and I'll reveal the key to this topic soon. Btw, my first reaction was "Arrrrrggghhh", I'll try to eat it plain first but then decide not to torture my tastebuds anymore and fill it up with my own jam. So my answer is most likely to be choice no.4

Key to Empty Inside

What do you call a jelly doughnut without any jelly in it? A: a nasty surprise!

While we are on the subject of the unexpected, you may be surprised to hear that the response you chose for the above scenario shows the role you play among your friends.

Choice no. 1

An orthodox thinker who isn't easily thrown off guard by odd occurrences, you can be relied on not to panic when the unexpected happens. But you aren't the type to take command and lead the way. Rather, you tend to support leader types with your clear judgement and coolheaded advice.

Choice no. 2

You don't let surprises ruffle your feathers, accepting whatever hand the fates deal you. Your patience and flexibility make you incredibly easy to get along with, and it could be said that you're the glue that holds your circle of friends together. Because you don't make a fuss over things, it sometimes seems that you fade into the background. But like air, you go unnoticed only until you are not around.

Choice no. 3

Quick to make decisions and quick to act, you're a natural leader in any group. You come into your own when things get out of hand and the situation calls for one person to take charge and decide a course of action. You don't hem and haw over where to go for dinner or what movie to see--the word indecision is not in your vocabulary. That air of confidence and authority means that when you speak, the people around you listen.

Choice no. 4

Your talent for coming up with innovative solutions makes you the undisputed idea generator in your clique. Everyone has common sense, but you have a knack for uncommon sense that lets you see opportunities where others see only problems. Your creative instincts mean that you run the risk of getting carried away with yourself and seem eccentric from time to time, but people feel safe knowing that whatever happens, you are sure to keep things interesting.

Happy Anniversary!

It has been,

six flips of the calender page,

six cycles of the moon,

six phone bills indicating I exceeded my limit,(haha)

Six months and counting....

Thanks for everything, you know who you are :)

Damian Rice & Lisa Hannigan -- 9 Crimes

3am and i'm still wide awake, decided to surf youtube for music videos and chanced upon this. I've always loved damian rice since "cannonball" and now, this song is the one that's on the top of my playlist... He makes such heartbreaking songs that are perfect for a still, quiet, dark night.

What I have been up to...

Okay i'm back from Spain and alot of people have been asking me what is there to see and do over there, my answer is buildings, buildings and more buildings!
Whatever can be built, be it sculptures or houses or public parks, you can trust the Spanish to have it made in the funkiest way.
Known as the Modernismo movement, it is where artists and architects just abandon all sense of the common and go wild and abstract with their creations.
Which explains why the building above has a funky orange-coloured tile roof and looks like a castle...
And there is more...






Rooftop on one of Barcelona's beloved architect Antoni Gaudi's buildings called "La Pederra"....
I thought it was quite cool.

A hospital that's classified as a UNESCO World Heritage Site for architecture. I wouldn't mind staying in such a good looking place when i'm sick if you ask me, as long as the insides are not as old as the outsides haha...

Another random Modernismo building




Hansel and Gretel-inspired Gingerbread House by Gaudi in Park Guell (pronounced as Park 'Weaaayyy', like your mouth is twisted to one side)



And then there's all the sculptures we saw...the one above is called
Joan Miro: "Caress of a Bird"





Joan Miro: "Woman and Bird"

All of which inspired us to come up with an abstract piece of "art" sculpture ourselves,

self-titled...





"Two Idiots Staring at Eggs on Chairs!"

And last but not least, for old time's and just plain boliao's sake...

Nothing says it better that you are in a foreign country where English is not the usual medium of speech better than seeing the item, "Coocked from Madrid" that costs 15euros (S$30!) from a menu outside a cafe!

a liminal space, a familiar place ...

Taking off to the land of matadors and bullfights.

Be back on 11 June. Don't miss me! haha...

Choices...

Recent events to the people around me has got me thinking about the decisions we have to make in life. When we come to the crossroads, which path should we take? In times like this, do we take the broad and attractive lane we know will lead us to nowhere? Or do we have the courage to embark on the narrow and crooked path out of the mess, even if it means we have to do it alone ?
If we cannot decide, should we just give up and turn back to the path we came from in the first place? For comfort and familiarity's sake, eventhough we know it's a pithole with no hope of a future?

What do we do?
Life is, after all, all about choices isn't it?



We make the choices, then our choices make us.

Make the right choice, and our choice will make our lives alright.

Okie my exams are finally over, i am now free to meet up with anyone and everyone.

Everybody say Yaay together......

Yeeeeaaaayeeeee........!!





One more time just for the sake of it,
Say yaay again!



YAAAaaaaay.....!!

DREAD...

Never felt so much dread and repulsion for an exam before.

The notes are in front, the eyes are looking but Mr Brain has long gone on an indefinite vacation.

You know they say that the worse feeling is not the actual event, its in the anticipation of it,

the dread of knowing how bad it's going to be.

But yet, having to wait for it to come while watching the minutes crawl by like hours.

Arrgghh....just spare the blindfold and get on with it!






When will the agony end?

Toilet Humor

In between my exams now, just had a paper today that I think just went flushed down the toilet. But not just any other toilet, its the super duper automated high-tech toilet seat that I came across in Japan!

They keep the toilet seat warmed up for you in winter through some heater that runs through the toilet bowl.

And different buttons at the side lets you do so many things you never thought of doing in a cubicle.

One button gives you a butt spray and another plays the music of a flushing sound.

Haha! Isn't it a toilet bliss?

But the funniest thing was I read in the papers that the company producing those 'special' toilet bowls, TOYO, is now facing lawsuits after one of the bowls caught fire while someone was on it! Hohoho... i sure pity that poor girl man...

Okie enough crapping, (pun not intended)

Back to my lonely cubicle to be with stacks of paper and analyse loads of shit ...

(i mean studying by the way)

Sitting Duck...

Three presentations, three modules, all having the dreaded segment of "Q&A discussion".

I am just a sitting duck waiting to be shot down!

Recent quotes that caught my eye...

"All tyranny needs to gain a foothold is for people of good
conscience to remain silent"
-- Thomas Jefferson


"A tyrant's best ally has always been an apathetic populace.
Citizens of Germany learned that awful truth in 1939."
-- Doug Thompson


"Rebellion to tyrants is obedience to God."
-- Thomas Jefferson














I refuse to let the sun go down on me......