An Unexpected Gift...

A long, long time ago... I can still remember.

8 number of years past
The scene was of the canteen on a cool afternoon
I was at the drinks store in the corner
Casually mentioned that the toy was really cute

Went off to play without a care,
or a second thought
As sunset called for time to go home
Came running back to retrieve my forsaken bag

And on top of it was gently placed,
this little toy of Sylvester and Tweety.

I never got to know who the giver was
But I am reminded again this Christmas,
that it's not about the receiving, but of the giving.

To the person who gave me the unexpected gift,
I thank you

For you gave me much more than you probably know.

Midnight Emo Ramblings...

你是我的唯一


很想給妳寫封信 告訴妳這裡的天氣

昨夜的那一場電影 還有我的心情

很想給妳寫封信 卻只是想想而已

我已經不能肯定 妳是不是還會關心


愛與不愛都需要勇氣 於是我們都選擇了逃避


愛與不愛都需要勇氣 於是我們都選擇了逃避


或許妳不相信 我很滿意這樣的結局

或許妳不相信 我沒有一絲的埋怨和悔意


雖然妳是我的最初

雖然妳是我的最終

雖然妳是我的唯一


"To love or not to love, it both takes courage. That's why we chose to run away."
This song was mentioned in the sermon today and the song got stuck in my head.

Why do people always like to run away and not face the issue?
Don't they know that once you start running, you will always be running away from the problem and never getting over it?
What if one side decides to stay and face it but the other runs?

That must be the suckiest feeling in the world, to be left stranded trying to solve a problem that requires both to be involved. It's like trying to clap with one hand.

Thinking through, I think I know how God feels about us pesky humans now... haha.

What do you see?

An optimist is a person who sees only the lights in the picture, whereas a pessimist sees only the shadows. An idealist, however, is one who sees the light and the shadows, but in addition sees something else: the possibility of changing the picture, of making the lights prevail over the shadows.

21 Guns

Do you know what's worth fighting for?
When it's not worth dying for?

Does it take your breath away
And you feel yourself suffocating?

Does the pain weigh out the pride?
And you look for a place to hide?
Did someone break your heart inside?
You're in ruins

One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms, give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky, you and I

When you're at the end of the road
And you lost all sense of control
And your thoughts have taken their toll
When your mind breaks the spirit of your soul

Your faith walks on broken glass
And the hangover doesn't pass
Nothing's ever built to last
You're in ruins

One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms, give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky, you and I

Did you try to live on your own
When you burned down the house and home?
Did you stand too close to the fire
Like a liar looking for forgiveness from a stone?

When it's time to live and let die
And you can't get another try
Something inside this heart has died
You're in ruins

One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms, give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky

One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms, give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky, you and I


The first two lines just blew me away...
Sometimes it is just best to let go and give up coz the fight is just not worth it...

Fitting In......

Some changes happening around me now...

Sometimes I really wonder, am I trying to fit into shoes that are waay too big for me?

Work.

Work has been crazily busy, making me feel like a dehydrated piece of fruit, utterly squeezed out of all juices - brain and body.

Just hope that at the end of it all, things will turn out much sweeter than it seems.

HDB: Houses Dat are Beautiful...

Hey peeps,

know my blog has been on the freezer for the past months. It was partly due to Blogger refusing to let me upload my pictures and my busy work life...But not to worry because I'm back!

Shall start over again by this post that has been swimming in my head since a long time ago.

I've heard people telling me that the Singapore landscape is blah... that everything looks the same and uniformed, especially the mass housing blocks we all live in called the HDB.

But I beg to differ.

A walk around the island and a closer look will let you realise that not all housing blocks are the same. At least for me, each of the HDB blocks below has its own unique character and architectural flavour. See if you can guess where they are! :)




I love rainbows!



This one is painted in nationalistic colours.




Reminds me of some modern surreal painting.

The shit will pass and Life will Glow...

You know how sometimes you have one of those days when everything just seems to go wrong? Well, I just had one of those weeks when Murphy decided to use me as a guinea pig to test out his laws!

At the end of it, this song I just sang today came to mind.
That despite everything, at least I still have Someone who is in control, who knows my thoughts, who sees my every step and loves me all the way.

He has been good to me and that is enough. Hallelujah! :)

If my heart has grown cold
There Your love will unfold
As You open my eyes to the work of Your hand


When I’m blind to my way
There Your Spirit will pray
As You open my eyes to the work of Your hand
As You open my eyes to the work of Your hand


Oceans will part nations come
At the whisper of Your call
Hope will rise glory shown
In my life Your will be done


Present suffering may pass
Lord Your mercy will last
As You open my eyes to the work of Your hand
And my heart will find praise
I’ll delight in Your way
As You open my eyes to the work of Your hand



(He decided to send me another one to cheer me up since I didn't manage to catch the last one on camera :))


As You open my eyes to the work of Your Hand...

In my life, Your will be done.

Inspiring...

Convocation address by Adrian Tan at NTU 2008, Wee Kim Wee School of Communication and Information

Life and How to Survive It

I must say thank you to the faculty and staff of the Wee Kim Wee School of Communication and Information for inviting me to give your convocation address. It's a wonderful honour and a privilege for me to speak here for ten minutes without fear of contradiction, defamation or retaliation. I say this as a Singaporean and more so as a husband.

My wife is a wonderful person and perfect in every way except one. She is the editor of a magazine. She corrects people for a living. She has honed her expert skills over a quarter of a century, mostly by practising at home during conversations between her and me.

On the other hand, I am a litigator. Essentially, I spend my day telling people how wrong they are. I make my living being disagreeable.

Nevertheless, there is perfect harmony in our matrimonial home. That is because when an editor and a litigator have an argument, the one who triumphs is always the wife.

And so I want to start by giving one piece of advice to the men: when you've already won her heart, you don't need to win every argument.

Marriage is considered one milestone of life. Some of you may already be married. Some of you may never be married. Some of you will be married. Some of you will enjoy the experience so much, you will be married many, many times. Good for you.

The next big milestone in your life is today: your graduation. The end of education. You're done learning.

You've probably been told the big lie that "Learning is a lifelong process" and that therefore you will continue studying and taking masters' degrees and doctorates and professorships and so on. You know the sort of people who tell you that? Teachers. Don't you think there is some measure of conflict of interest? They are in the business of learning, after all. Where would they be without you? They need you to be repeated customers.

The good news is that they're wrong.

The bad news is that you don't need further education because your entire life is over. It is gone. That may come as a shock to some of you. You're in your teens or early twenties. People may tell you that you will live to be 70, 80, 90 years old. That is your life expectancy.

I love that term: life expectancy. We all understand the term to mean the average life span of a group of people. But I'm here to talk about a bigger idea, which is what you expect from your life.

You may be very happy to know that Singapore is currently ranked as the country with the third highest life expectancy. We are behind Andorra and Japan, and tied with San Marino. It seems quite clear why people in those countries, and ours, live so long. We share one thing in common: our football teams are all hopeless. There's very little danger of any of our citizens having their pulses raised by watching us play in the World Cup. Spectators are more likely to be lulled into a gentle and restful nap.

Singaporeans have a life expectancy of 81.8 years. Singapore men live to an average of 79.21 years, while Singapore women live more than five years longer, probably to take into account the additional time they need to spend in the bathroom.

So here you are, in your twenties, thinking that you'll have another 40 years to go. Four decades in which to live long and prosper.

Bad news. Read the papers. There are people dropping dead when they're 50, 40, 30 years old. Or quite possibly just after finishing their convocation. They would be very disappointed that they didn't meet their life expectancy.

I'm here to tell you this. Forget about your life expectancy.

After all, it's calculated based on an average. And you never, ever want to expect being average.

Revisit those expectations. You might be looking forward to working, falling in love, marrying, raising a family. You are told that, as graduates, you should expect to find a job paying so much, where your hours are so much, where your responsibilities are so much.

That is what is expected of you. And if you live up to it, it will be an awful waste.

If you expect that, you will be limiting yourself. You will be living your life according to boundaries set by average people. I have nothing against average people. But no one should aspire to be them. And you don't need years of education by the best minds in Singapore to prepare you to be average.

What you should prepare for is mess. Life's a mess. You are not entitled to expect anything from it. Life is not fair. Everything does not balance out in the end. Life happens, and you have no control over it. Good and bad things happen to you day by day, hour by hour, moment by moment. Your degree is a poor armour against fate.

Don't expect anything. Erase all life expectancies. Just live. Your life is over as of today. At this point in time, you have grown as tall as you will ever be, you are physically the fittest you will ever be in your entire life and you are probably looking the best that you will ever look. This is as good as it gets. It is all downhill from here. Or up. No one knows.

What does this mean for you? It is good that your life is over.

Since your life is over, you are free. Let me tell you the many wonderful things that you can do when you are free.

The most important is this: do not work.

Work is anything that you are compelled to do. By its very nature, it is undesirable.

Work kills. The Japanese have a term "Karoshi", which means death from overwork. That's the most dramatic form of how work can kill. But it can also kill you in more subtle ways. If you work, then day by day, bit by bit, your soul is chipped away, disintegrating until there's nothing left. A rock has been ground into sand and dust.

There's a common misconception that work is necessary. You will meet people working at miserable jobs. They tell you they are "making a living". No, they're not. They're dying, frittering away their fast-extinguishing lives doing things which are, at best, meaningless and, at worst, harmful.

People will tell you that work ennobles you, that work lends you a certain dignity. Work makes you free. The slogan "Arbeit macht frei" was placed at the entrances to a number of Nazi concentration camps. Utter nonsense.

Do not waste the vast majority of your life doing something you hate so that you can spend the small remaining sliver of your life in modest comfort. You may never reach that end anyway.

Resist the temptation to get a job. Instead, play. Find something you enjoy doing. Do it. Over and over again. You will become good at it for two reasons: you like it, and you do it often. Soon, that will have value in itself.

I like arguing, and I love language. So, I became a litigator. I enjoy it and I would do it for free. If I didn't do that, I would've been in some other type of work that still involved writing fiction – probably a sports journalist.

So what should you do? You will find your own niche. I don't imagine you will need to look very hard. By this time in your life, you will have a very good idea of what you will want to do. In fact, I'll go further and say the ideal situation would be that you will not be able to stop yourself pursuing your passions. By this time you should know what your obsessions are. If you enjoy showing off your knowledge and feeling superior, you might become a teacher.

Find that pursuit that will energise you, consume you, become an obsession. Each day, you must rise with a restless enthusiasm. If you don't, you are working.

Most of you will end up in activities which involve communication. To those of you I have a second message: be wary of the truth. I'm not asking you to speak it, or write it, for there are times when it is dangerous or impossible to do those things. The truth has a great capacity to offend and injure, and you will find that the closer you are to someone, the more care you must take to disguise or even conceal the truth. Often, there is great virtue in being evasive, or equivocating. This is also a great skill. Any child can blurt out the truth, without thought to the consequences. It takes great maturity to appreciate the value of silence.

In order to be wary of the truth, you must first know it. That requires great frankness to yourself. Never fool the person in the mirror.

I have told you that your life is over, that you should not work, and that you should avoid telling the truth. I now say this to you: be hated.

It's not as easy as it sounds. Do you know anyone who hates you? Yet every great figure who has contributed to the human race has been hated, not just by one person, but often by a great many. That hatred is so strong it has caused those great figures to be shunned, abused, murdered and in one famous instance, nailed to a cross.

One does not have to be evil to be hated. In fact, it's often the case that one is hated precisely because one is trying to do right by one's own convictions. It is far too easy to be liked, one merely has to be accommodating and hold no strong convictions. Then one will gravitate towards the centre and settle into the average. That cannot be your role. There are a great many bad people in the world, and if you are not offending them, you must be bad yourself. Popularity is a sure sign that you are doing something wrong.

The other side of the coin is this: fall in love.

I didn't say "be loved". That requires too much compromise. If one changes one's looks, personality and values, one can be loved by anyone.

Rather, I exhort you to love another human being. It may seem odd for me to tell you this. You may expect it to happen naturally, without deliberation. That is false. Modern society is anti-love. We've taken a microscope to everyone to bring out their flaws and shortcomings. It is far easier to find a reason not to love someone, than otherwise. Rejection requires only one reason. Love requires complete acceptance. It is hard work – the only kind of work that I find palatable.

Loving someone has great benefits. There is admiration, learning, attraction and something which, for the want of a better word, we call happiness. In loving someone, we become inspired to better ourselves in every way. We learn the true worthlessness of material things. We celebrate being human. Loving is good for the soul.

Loving someone is therefore very important, and it is also important to choose the right person. Despite popular culture, love doesn't happen by chance, at first sight, across a crowded dance floor. It grows slowly, sinking roots first before branching and blossoming. It is not a silly weed, but a mighty tree that weathers every storm.

You will find, that when you have someone to love, that the face is less important than the brain, and the body is less important than the heart.

You will also find that it is no great tragedy if your love is not reciprocated. You are not doing it to be loved back. Its value is to inspire you.

Finally, you will find that there is no half-measure when it comes to loving someone. You either don't, or you do with every cell in your body, completely and utterly, without reservation or apology. It consumes you, and you are reborn, all the better for it.

Don't work. Avoid telling the truth. Be hated. Love someone.

You're going to have a busy life. Thank goodness there's no life expectancy.


(After reading the convocation message, it brings to my mind the particular quote below. I discovered it many years ago together with a friend in a quiet neighbourhood bookstore. Because camera phones were not existent then, we had to manually hand copy it on to a scrap of foolscap paper, and make sure the bookstore owner wasn't looking at the same time! Those were the days......... But at least the quote still remains in my memory til today. Hope you find this as inspiring as I did and still do!)

"I would rather be ashes than dust! I would rather that my spark
should burn out in a brilliant blaze than it should be stifled by dry rot.
I would rather be a superb meteor, every atom of me in magnificent glow,
than a sleepy and permanent planet. The proper function of man is to live,
not to exist. I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.
I shall use my time."
--Jack London, American Author

Interview With God

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I saw a rainbow yesterday evening. A big beautiful shining bow of seven multicolours.
And I was reminded that He is there, always. :)

Starswirlz presents: Mr Leon's 2008 perspectives

Just saw this video my classmate did and just had to showcase it here. So cool!

Okay, my geog classmates are officially some of the most creative sparks I have ever met.




I miss mulu!